Should African Americans judge a person by what complexion they prefer?

Every human being in this world has a preference on what type of person they consider themselves dating and being with relationship-wise. However I’m narrowing it down to African American men and African American women, or African women (Black) women in general. I’ve sat around some African American men whose preference only depends solely on skin complexion. I remember having a conversation with a man who said he only dated lighter skin African Americans (yellow, red bones) is how he “described them” because they were a lot prettier and a lot more “mainstream”. He said darker skin women were always angry and are even less attractive then the lighter skin women. I’m sure there are a lot of men who agree w/ him and understand his position.

I really do not want to conclude that most men who think like him are brainwashed by the media and other reasons for believing such thoughts. There is a deeper meaning into the whole controversial issue within the African American world and the divide of the darker and lighter complexion of the same race. Such as the speaking of

“Lighter-skinned children of slaves and their owners were given better treatment and less strenuous household chores than darker slaves who toiled in the fields."

It goes back to the whiter the better, the darker the dirtier. White is pure, dark is evil. List goes on. There have been researches that prove that the lighter would always succeed more than the darker despite their equal level of positions.

However listen to this point. Not all men who prefer the light complexion reasons for being more attracted to them is similar to the man I discussed with. Not all men who like lighter skin complexion women reasons are discriminatory or prejudice. I have no reasons why, but there are exceptions everywhere. I believe if a woman wants to know why a man is only attracted to one complexion of a race rather than another, she should ask. If he gives a reasonable unbiased point, then I don’t necessarily believe you can conclude them are being brainwashed or ignorant.

I really truly believe that women of the darker complexion should not be upset and angered by the position such men take in their interest in light skin African American women, they should not insult or taunt or try to educate these men about their position, because many of their minds you cannot change. Instead I truly believe the darker complexion should embrace themselves, hold themselves with confidence and rather try to find the man that appreciates you and your complexion. The man who isn’t swayed by the media portrayal of the lighter the better and isn’t swayed by the manipulation of others in promoting lighter is better.

We can also discuss vis versa. I talked to a lighter skin African American woman who told me she only preferred darker skin black men because they just always looked sexier to her. She said she always embraced darker skin men as the true connection to Africa and the land she never visited. Her reasons mostly faced around the connection culturally and as well physically. Can a lighter skin African American man feel insulted by such a comment? Is it only darker skin men that only have a better connection too their roots? I beg to differ because my mother is light skin, and she’s 10000% Nigerian.

If its either a lighter skin woman liking a darker skin man, darker skin man liking a lighter skin woman, lighter skin man liking a darker skin woman, or a darker skin woman liking a lighter skin man because they want their child to have “good hair” Oh LORD that’s another topic on its own, I don’t believe we should get all bent out of shape about it.

I also believe that most light skin men who prefer darker skin men or lighter skin women who prefer darker skin men should treated better than the opposite. I’ve noticed that as well. However all and all, there’s so much to really mention about it all.

What is my conclusion: I feel that without much understanding of the African American history without the bias of the media, there will never be a true understanding of the race as a whole. I honestly just believe if many look past complexion and look into the deeper meaning of who one is, this issue of lighter and darker wouldn’t be a big issue compared to many more relevant issues in the African American community such as health and education.